[He's not completely wrong, so it's a pretty good guess for someone who claims he's no art critic. Not to mention someone who is a total wash when it comes to culture?!]
[ WOW YOU OF ALL PEOPLE DON’T GET TO JUDGE HIM FOR HIS AGE!!! But ok the culture thing is on point he didn’t even know about Coke when he first got to America smh… ]
Niiiice. [ It looks to him like the supervillains in the comic books he’s been reading though… ]
What’s it stand for, anyway? [ Emboldened by her answer, he draws closer to the buffalo thingy, even reaching out to trace the engravings with his gross unwashed and uncultured plebeian finger. ] Some ancient legend? Or some kinda carnival prize?
[ She can always take out one of his arms and use it in place of any damaged horns—it’s probably big enough… ]
Interesting, interesting. [ Rubbing his chin—other cultures are cool and all, but he’d been hoping for a little more action than an impromptu history lesson, so, moving on… ]
That’s some pretty…symbolic stuff, all right! Have you got more of these lying around? Maybe… [ Oh look there’s that fiendish glint in his eyes— ] …In your bedroom?
[ But at least Jonathan would give a shit about buffalo horns… Joseph is too weak for this shit tbh
Especially now that he immediately brightens up, looking for all the world like he’s about to jump for joy, but he immediately forces that stupid Jackpot!!! expression off of his face and clears his throat, trying to look only mildly interested at the prospect of what intriguing treasures lie in her bedroom.
Is it a sex toy? Nude photos? An entire dungeon? ]
Oh, sure, if you don’t mind me taking a peek at it.
WELL, if he's interested in seeing, then she doesn't mind showing, since she's made sure all her clothes are in the wardrobe and her bed is neatly made!]
Alright then, come with me.
[Prepare yourself for a boring bedroom, Joseph, because she's just that type of girl.
Like no seriously, once she takes him there, it's so tidy it could make someone cry. Although it's just like any typical bedroom. It has a tv, a desk, lamps, and a few books and magazines. No clothes strewn, so he'll have to hunt.]
Now, let me think...where would I put something interesting...? [What even would be interesting?]
[ And lo and behold, as they enter the bedroom, Joseph has come to realize that…it’s perfectly ordinary.
Dammit.
At least it’s still a bedroom…at least she won’t make him clean it… How did she know he wanted some souvenir undies ]
I’ll help you look! [ He’s almost entirely too eager as he says it. ] I mean, if you don’t mind, that is! [ SHE’S HIDING THE GOODS SOMEWHERE AND DAMMIT HE WILL FIND THEM. He hasn’t lost hope yet!!! ]
[ He’s already making it pretty damn bizarre anyway lbr ]
The drawers, you say? [ That piques his interest as his gaze zeroes in on them—look, the more you tell him no the more he’ll want to do the thing anyway. Sorry, Vietnam…
Still, he can afford to be…sneaky about it. By getting riiiiight into her personal space. ]
If I were hiding something interesting and wanted to show it to the strapping young visitor I’ve got in my bedroom, then maybe I should be bringing it out myself, hmm?
[ Maybe she’ll get the innuendo this time?? Maybe???? ]
That’s…! [ Bullshit, he wants to say, but thankfully doesn’t. Is she…playing with him, maybe? It’s a possibility, although she does look for all the world like she genuinely doesn’t know.
With a huff, he straightens himself, leaving her some room to breathe for now, as he ponders how he’s gonna break it to her gently, and in a way that may not earn him a well-deserved slap to the face.
Maybe she is just playing hard to get… ]
You know, stuff like those… [ Think of a good euphemism or something dammit Joseph Joestar— ] …Like those horns! Yes! You know, stuff that makes a really…bold statement.
[ He has to think about this for a moment, before continuing: ] Like, really bold! So bold and scandalous that you wouldn’t show it to anyone else!!
He's getting really animated about this as well? What exactly is she missing?! Did he want to see...
...wait.
But she shows everything this?
She reaches towards one of her closets. Normally, she wouldn't put this here, but considering that it's a Bold Statement and scandalous in that she would probably not wear it again...]
But I thought I had you all figured out!! [ NO??? And look, it’s not a huge boner just yet and who even cares anymore SOMEONE PLEASE PUT THEM OUT OF THEIR MISERY… ]
[ …Is he still alive? Has she decided to spare him after all??? ]
Ha! [ That was an oddly triumphant-sounding ha, for a guy who knows fuckall what he’s doing. Apparently throwing shit to the wall and seeing what sticks can only get him so far. ]
Neither am I! [ Just shoot him. ] We’ve got that much in common!
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Heirloom?
[He's not completely wrong, so it's a pretty good guess for someone who claims he's no art critic. Not to mention someone who is a total wash when it comes to culture?!]
Not quite an heirloom, but it is very old, yes.
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Niiiice. [ It looks to him like the supervillains in the comic books he’s been reading though… ]
What’s it stand for, anyway? [ Emboldened by her answer, he draws closer to the buffalo thingy, even reaching out to trace the engravings with his gross unwashed and uncultured plebeian finger. ] Some ancient legend? Or some kinda carnival prize?
[ He’s kidding… ]
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Ah, hope the horns are well kept so that his greasy hands won't be damaging them. That lacquer must be super powerful.]
Hmm? Dragons and phoenixes are rather symbolic to Asian culture. So the dragon often represents the male, and the phoenix the female.
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Interesting, interesting. [ Rubbing his chin—other cultures are cool and all, but he’d been hoping for a little more action than an impromptu history lesson, so, moving on… ]
That’s some pretty…symbolic stuff, all right! Have you got more of these lying around? Maybe… [ Oh look there’s that fiendish glint in his eyes— ] …In your bedroom?
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Man his entire family are nerds.]
Oh? My bedroom. [Hmm, what does she have in there--]
Ah, I do. Would you like to see?
[DON'T DO IT.]
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Especially now that he immediately brightens up, looking for all the world like he’s about to jump for joy, but he immediately forces that stupid Jackpot!!! expression off of his face and clears his throat, trying to look only mildly interested at the prospect of what intriguing treasures lie in her bedroom.
Is it a sex toy? Nude photos? An entire dungeon? ]
Oh, sure, if you don’t mind me taking a peek at it.
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WELL, if he's interested in seeing, then she doesn't mind showing, since she's made sure all her clothes are in the wardrobe and her bed is neatly made!]
Alright then, come with me.
[Prepare yourself for a boring bedroom, Joseph, because she's just that type of girl.
Like no seriously, once she takes him there, it's so tidy it could make someone cry. Although it's just like any typical bedroom. It has a tv, a desk, lamps, and a few books and magazines. No clothes strewn, so he'll have to hunt.]
Now, let me think...where would I put something interesting...? [What even would be interesting?]
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Dammit.
At least it’s still a bedroom…at least she won’t make him clean it…
How did she know he wanted some souvenir undies]I’ll help you look! [ He’s almost entirely too eager as he says it. ] I mean, if you don’t mind, that is! [ SHE’S HIDING THE GOODS SOMEWHERE AND DAMMIT HE WILL FIND THEM. He hasn’t lost hope yet!!! ]
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And Jojo...used undies are not souvenirs?! They go in the laundry!]
Oh! [WHY IS HE SO EAGER] A-ah, I mean...if you avoid the drawers, you can look...
[That sounds suspicious. But no that's where her undergarments are?!]
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The drawers, you say? [ That piques his interest as his gaze zeroes in on them—look, the more you tell him no the more he’ll want to do the thing anyway. Sorry, Vietnam…
Still, he can afford to be…sneaky about it. By getting riiiiight into her personal space. ]
If I were hiding something interesting and wanted to show it to the strapping young visitor I’ve got in my bedroom, then maybe I should be bringing it out myself, hmm?
[ Maybe she’ll get the innuendo this time?? Maybe???? ]
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Also why is he going up to her when he should be looking for things?
OH, that is why. Because he wants her to take it out and show him! Well, that's not a problem at all, she's just--]
I-I'm not sure what you find interesting, I must confess...
[THAT'S WHY. Also this means she didn't get it.]
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That’s…! [ Bullshit, he wants to say, but thankfully doesn’t. Is she…playing with him, maybe? It’s a possibility, although she does look for all the world like she genuinely doesn’t know.
With a huff, he straightens himself, leaving her some room to breathe for now, as he ponders how he’s gonna break it to her gently, and in a way that may not earn him a well-deserved slap to the face.
Maybe she is just playing hard to get… ]
You know, stuff like those… [ Think of a good euphemism or something dammit Joseph Joestar— ] …Like those horns! Yes! You know, stuff that makes a really…bold statement.
[ He has to think about this for a moment, before continuing: ] Like, really bold! So bold and scandalous that you wouldn’t show it to anyone else!!
[ So much for being subtle… ]
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He's getting really animated about this as well? What exactly is she missing?! Did he want to see...
...wait.
But she shows everything this?
She reaches towards one of her closets. Normally, she wouldn't put this here, but considering that it's a Bold Statement and scandalous in that she would probably not wear it again...]
This...?
[And shows him her TOPIO costume. All 6ft of it.]
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MAYBE THAT’S THE REAL REASON HE’S ATTRACTED TO HER????But Joseph congratulates himself as she makes a beeline for the closet, outright leering as she opens the door, and… ]
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/done
I—I mean, if that’s your kink, baby…
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IT PROBABLY IS. COS SERIOUSLY, DUDE.And how did he even manage to have a boner--
ALSO SHE IS CONFUSED. WHY IS HE TALKING ABOUT KINKS--
...Oh.]
N-no, this is not my kink!! J-Joseph?!
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Y-you've been trying to figure me out, for what?!
{SHE STILL DOESN'T GET IT AND JOSEPH YOU'RE A BIG DUDE EVERY BONER IS BIG ACTUALLY LETS JUST GO DIE.]
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For…For… [ Holding his hands up and backing away now please don’t kill him— ] Look, can’t we just talk about this?
[ DON'T GO LISA LISA ON HIM PLS ]
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W-what are we talking about?
[She'll let him talk before she BEATS HIM UP but he better make it a good one.]
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Like…for example, uh… [ Thinking quickly, he babbles— ] …Like robots! Robots are awesome, yeah…
[ He has no idea who TOPIO is, tbh and his mind is drawing a blank as to how to continue already… ]
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R-robots are awesome.
[ . . . ]
I'm not very good at building them, however.
[That's a science that's beyond her, leave it to America and the humans.]
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Ha! [ That was an oddly triumphant-sounding ha, for a guy who knows fuckall what he’s doing. Apparently throwing shit to the wall and seeing what sticks can only get him so far. ]
Neither am I! [ Just shoot him. ] We’ve got that much in common!
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A-ah...
[Jojo...what...
...
...are you talking about?!]
Y-yes...I mean, I'm not sure this is a common skill?
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