It's not often that Vietnam requests something of him that's incredibly important, and it's even less for her Servant to refuse her. A man of principle and of wanting to help other people as much as possible, Siegfried is the epitome of kindness, of bending over backwards to ensure that someone is happy, even at the cost of his own well-being.
Perhaps that's exactly why Vietnam presses for this, to speak with the beast that flows in his veins and brings forth the other part of him that he so desperately needs. That his last struggle had left him teetering between both sides, light and dark, and refusing to even let his other half speak towards the light of day.
So to be confronted now... it frightens him. To have so little control over a part of himself that could just kill whoever he pleases, with no restraint and no sense of morality. He will never let it be free.]
I can't. [Siegfried takes a step back, shaking his head.] I don't want to take that risk, Master. He could hurt you.
[It all started when she saw him cowering over one day, clutching hard onto himself as it seems like his dragon side was trying to force his way out again. Siegfried always looks like he's in pain during this time, and she knows that if he doesn't embrace all of himself, it will continue to hurt him.
He holds back so much, because he could never be truly free. Not until he reconciles with that part. But it is as he said, it's dangerous.
On the other hand? It's not like she is afraid. And if she could talk to his dragon side as much as she does to him, they could get somewhere. The problem is getting Siegfried to let her talk. His fear is understandable.
She shakes her head, holding her hand out to take his.]
He could, but I must. It's for you. Just as much as you fear me getting hurt, I feel the same when it involves you. But I will be fine. You know how and what I am.
[He doesn't want this. He doesn't want this side of himself to be free, to have awoken as it has and plagued his inner self with turmoil and fury. Resting in a cage, refusing to let him see the light of day, only speaking to him when the situation calls for it. That monster is a dreaded bane upon the ground he stands, even if it is a monster of himself, and he cannot accept that this creature is him.
He will deny it until he is no longer afraid, until he believes that his inner dragon is a source of strength rather than something to be feared.
"Let me speak with her."
No. You will not.
Siegfried grits his teeth, the dullest throb hitting just above his eye. His dragon is not pleased.]
I don't- I will manage, Sen. This part of myself I honestly should not let you near, as he's unpredictable. You shouldn't have to speak with him.
[He keeps denying it. She knows why he does. He rejects this side of him for as long as he exists. And in many cases, it is fair. Of course, it's not something he accepts or is proud of. Destruction and chaos follows in his wake.
But the monster exists, and the monster is him. It is like how she cannot deny that she had been part of many, many dark parts of history. They make her what she is now, who she is today. Not just as Vietnam, but also as Sen.
She could feel the tension build within him through their link, part of it his own frustration, the other the dragon's displeasure.]
I know you want to keep me safe. I can feel that. [She tightens her grip on his hands, thumbs soothing the back on his skin.]
I know you will keep me safe when I speak to him. But I must.
[He will never be at peace until she does, and even then, just not entirely.]
The throbbing intensifies, one hand going to his eye, and Siegfried winces slightly, knowing that at this rate, he'll either have to struggle for a long while to keep himself in control, or worse. He can't do this while Sen's in front of him, and he can feel the cage inside his mind slowly begin to unravel. He can't, he can't-
But if he keeps his dragon at bay, this will only be far worse than letting him out of his own volition. Of his own choice.
"Oh? Allowing me something?"
If you do anything to her-
"Well, you'll just have to prove you can keep me in line then, won't you?"
A test of wills, he hates this. Siegfried has no choice, however, and he relinquishes his control, the pain immediately subsiding as his dragon takes hold. Immediately his posture straightens, tail giving an agitated swipe as the inside of his eyes seem to swirl into something dark.
It's followed by a chuckle, one that's too dark for what Siegfried usually carries.]
Well, how pleasant. [Black sclera flick to Sen, then to the environment around him.] It's been some time, hasn't it. You've a lot of courage to ask for me directly.
[Said while easily coming into her space, an all too familiar grin spreading on his face. STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER.]
[She can feel it, the tugging in her mind that shows that they're negotiating. Sure, she can't hear it since Siegfried keeps it so deep within him, guarding himself from any possibility that this dragon would emerge. But feeling it is possible. The waves of Siegfried's frustration, like he's getting taunted. And then Siegfried felling physically my relaxed right after.
She knows what happened. He has let himself go. That means a certain other being will emerge. And there, his voice, dark and cheerful. His eyes, changed. He's free, he's dangerous, and he's not afraid of her at all.
Nor she him.
She steps forward, meeting him halfway as he so dares steps towards her. STRANGER DANGER BUT WHAT IS DANGER.]
It is, I wonder if you have missed me.
[Jokes.] I thought you already knew that I do not fear you. Rather, I wish to talk to you so that we can get to know each other, no?
Always. [A claw aims to grab her chin with a gentler touch then one would expect of such a creature, but he's not always so blunt when he wishes to be. A push, a pull. Give and take. These are simple rules, but ones he knows well how to use- how to manipulate or move however he desires. There is no one to tell him he cannot or will not do what he pleases.
Has he missed her? In his own way, he supposes so- seeing as he's watched from behind bars that allow him to see but never touch, to hear but never speak. Is he answering her retort of such a thing, or is he answering that he knows she does not fear him? Who knows? A dragon doesn't tell.
He can feel the lull inside him rumble quietly as his other half watches, a sentry waiting for the wrong move to prove he must take over once more. Ah, but where's the fun in being so uptight? Even Sen would agree, he knows. She's already come forward to meet him rather than shy away like most.
Rather, I wish to talk to you so that we can get to know each other, no? It's odd, he's never shied away from something like a conversation, but he doesn't quite like how this sits in the air. Siegfried tilts his head, eyes narrowing just a little at her.]
"Talk with me," as you've said. How much is this going to end up in me relinquishing my hold of him?
[Because while he loves the attention, being asked for specifically like this usually has a cost- and it may not be one he's willing to pay.]
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no subject
It's not often that Vietnam requests something of him that's incredibly important, and it's even less for her Servant to refuse her. A man of principle and of wanting to help other people as much as possible, Siegfried is the epitome of kindness, of bending over backwards to ensure that someone is happy, even at the cost of his own well-being.
Perhaps that's exactly why Vietnam presses for this, to speak with the beast that flows in his veins and brings forth the other part of him that he so desperately needs. That his last struggle had left him teetering between both sides, light and dark, and refusing to even let his other half speak towards the light of day.
So to be confronted now... it frightens him. To have so little control over a part of himself that could just kill whoever he pleases, with no restraint and no sense of morality. He will never let it be free.]
I can't. [Siegfried takes a step back, shaking his head.] I don't want to take that risk, Master. He could hurt you.
no subject
He holds back so much, because he could never be truly free. Not until he reconciles with that part. But it is as he said, it's dangerous.
On the other hand? It's not like she is afraid. And if she could talk to his dragon side as much as she does to him, they could get somewhere. The problem is getting Siegfried to let her talk. His fear is understandable.
She shakes her head, holding her hand out to take his.]
He could, but I must. It's for you. Just as much as you fear me getting hurt, I feel the same when it involves you. But I will be fine. You know how and what I am.
no subject
[He doesn't want this. He doesn't want this side of himself to be free, to have awoken as it has and plagued his inner self with turmoil and fury. Resting in a cage, refusing to let him see the light of day, only speaking to him when the situation calls for it. That monster is a dreaded bane upon the ground he stands, even if it is a monster of himself, and he cannot accept that this creature is him.
He will deny it until he is no longer afraid, until he believes that his inner dragon is a source of strength rather than something to be feared.
"Let me speak with her."
No. You will not.
Siegfried grits his teeth, the dullest throb hitting just above his eye. His dragon is not pleased.]
I don't- I will manage, Sen. This part of myself I honestly should not let you near, as he's unpredictable. You shouldn't have to speak with him.
no subject
But the monster exists, and the monster is him. It is like how she cannot deny that she had been part of many, many dark parts of history. They make her what she is now, who she is today. Not just as Vietnam, but also as Sen.
She could feel the tension build within him through their link, part of it his own frustration, the other the dragon's displeasure.]
I know you want to keep me safe. I can feel that. [She tightens her grip on his hands, thumbs soothing the back on his skin.]
I know you will keep me safe when I speak to him. But I must.
[He will never be at peace until she does, and even then, just not entirely.]
no subject
The throbbing intensifies, one hand going to his eye, and Siegfried winces slightly, knowing that at this rate, he'll either have to struggle for a long while to keep himself in control, or worse. He can't do this while Sen's in front of him, and he can feel the cage inside his mind slowly begin to unravel. He can't, he can't-
But if he keeps his dragon at bay, this will only be far worse than letting him out of his own volition. Of his own choice.
"Oh? Allowing me something?"
If you do anything to her-
"Well, you'll just have to prove you can keep me in line then, won't you?"
A test of wills, he hates this. Siegfried has no choice, however, and he relinquishes his control, the pain immediately subsiding as his dragon takes hold. Immediately his posture straightens, tail giving an agitated swipe as the inside of his eyes seem to swirl into something dark.
It's followed by a chuckle, one that's too dark for what Siegfried usually carries.]
Well, how pleasant. [Black sclera flick to Sen, then to the environment around him.] It's been some time, hasn't it. You've a lot of courage to ask for me directly.
[Said while easily coming into her space, an all too familiar grin spreading on his face. STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER.]
no subject
She knows what happened. He has let himself go. That means a certain other being will emerge. And there, his voice, dark and cheerful. His eyes, changed. He's free, he's dangerous, and he's not afraid of her at all.
Nor she him.
She steps forward, meeting him halfway as he so dares steps towards her. STRANGER DANGER BUT WHAT IS DANGER.]
It is, I wonder if you have missed me.
[Jokes.] I thought you already knew that I do not fear you. Rather, I wish to talk to you so that we can get to know each other, no?
no subject
Has he missed her? In his own way, he supposes so- seeing as he's watched from behind bars that allow him to see but never touch, to hear but never speak. Is he answering her retort of such a thing, or is he answering that he knows she does not fear him? Who knows? A dragon doesn't tell.
He can feel the lull inside him rumble quietly as his other half watches, a sentry waiting for the wrong move to prove he must take over once more. Ah, but where's the fun in being so uptight? Even Sen would agree, he knows. She's already come forward to meet him rather than shy away like most.
Rather, I wish to talk to you so that we can get to know each other, no? It's odd, he's never shied away from something like a conversation, but he doesn't quite like how this sits in the air. Siegfried tilts his head, eyes narrowing just a little at her.]
"Talk with me," as you've said. How much is this going to end up in me relinquishing my hold of him?
[Because while he loves the attention, being asked for specifically like this usually has a cost- and it may not be one he's willing to pay.]